Adoption in the Ozarks - Part One

We explore domestic infant adoption with a couple from Republic.

November 08, 2010|by Jay Scherder, KY3 News | jscherder@ky3.com

REPUBLIC, Mo -- A family family is celebrating its new addition during National Adoption Awareness Month. The family was lucky. After being on a waiting list for only three months, they had a daughter.

This family opted for a domestic child adoption. The waiting time can be a lot longer for other families.

"We decided we wanted to have kids, so we started trying," Alicia said. "We tried for about a year."

A year later, there were no results and no child.

"It was really hard for a while."

While discouraged, Alicia and her husband, Nate, refused to give up and turned to adoption.

"I think it was actually a little bit easier for me," Nate said. "My family has a past of adoption."

"We both always wanted to be parents and not having kids was not an option for us," Alicia said.

They decided to start the process for a domestic infant adoption.

"They had this dream of having an infant biologically through pregnancy and that dream didn't come true," said Regina Smith with Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri. "But they still want that experience of parenting an infant."

"It was a growing experience for us as a couple," Nate said.

The couple underwent background checks, financial checks, and personal profiles. The process demands dedication.

"When we got on a waiting list," Nate said, "there's no real, 'Oh, you can expect to wait this long.' We had no idea."

After three months, a fairly short time in the adoption process, they got a phone call. Nate and Alicia officially had a daughter. Her name is Quinlynn.

"[It was] almost indescribable," Alicia said. "It's just a feeling like I've never felt before -- pure joy, pure bliss."

"I was like 'Maybe I'm going to cry on this day,'" Nate said. "I didn't because I was so happy."

After originally deciding they wanted a closed adoption, one where they wouldn't have contact with the birth mother, the couple had a change of heart.

"She was 19, she was single," Alicia said. "She actually went through most of the pregnancy without her father being present."

The couple meets with the birth mother four to five times a year and will do so throughout Quinlynn's life.

"She is just full of life, all the time," Alicia said about her daughter.

"Whether it's changing a dirty diaper or cleaning up or holding out your hand when you know she's about to get sick," Nate laughed, "it just becomes natural."

Quinlynn will continue being a rambunctious toddler, and Nate and Alicia will continue having their hands full.

"We look at her and she's not different than us," Alicia said. "She's a part of who we are."

In southwest Missouri, as it is with the rest of the state, more parents are looking for an infant to adopt than there are infants to adopt. Another shortage that agencies see is the number of minority parents willing to adopt.
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Part two of Adoption in the Ozarks is about a single mom who has two adopted children who came from state foster care. It is a much different type of situation than that of Nate and Alicia.

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